Saturday, March 12, 2011

You're Fired! Part I

     Last Sunday the season premiere of Celebrity Apprentice aired and although I have never seen previous seasons, I decided to watch the show on line today for several reasons. First of all, my #3 teenage idol (behind Donny Osmond and Bobby Sherman), David Cassidy is among the contestants as is Meat Loaf, whom I adore for both his music and for being an outspoken fiscally conservative celebrity. Secondly, Donald Trump has been popping up on my radar screen more lately and it seems clear that he is toying with the idea of a presidential bid in 2012. It may also be notable that I was not attracted to the show by any of the female contestants and in fact do not even know who several of them are or for what accomplishments they find themselves famous. Now that I have tuned in, I am hooked and will be watching on line every week.
     Mr. Trump divided the candidates along gender lines, which always makes for interesting dynamics. He revealed that their first task was to run a Manhattan pizzeria for a day and raise money for charity. Once the teams were delineated and the task was announced they were off to their Trump Tower suite to choose a team name and a project manager.  The men came to the table with different ideas for a name, quickly found areas of common ground, took to an internet thesaurus for inspiration and decided on the unifying name, Backbone. Richard Hatch, the first winner of the popular Survivor reality series was chosen unanimously as their project manager. The women also came to their table with different idea for names. Rather than coming up with a unifying name to bring about cohesion, they chose A.S.A.P.P. (Artists, Singers, Authors & Professionals with Purpose). It was so obscure even to them, that when the time came to reveal it in the board room, they had forgotten its complex meaning. Star Jones, an attorney famous for being on The View was unanimously chosen as project manager for the women's team. Then the fun really started.
     Backbone took over a Famous Familglia  Pizzeria near NYU while A.S.A.P.P. chose the location closest to Times Square in the theatre district. Although timing is a bit unclear, it seems they had one day to train and prepare and one day to be in business to make money. Each team quickly set about assigning tasks: pizza-maker, counter service, cashier, delivery, marketing, etc. Almost immediately subordinates began complaining about their project managers being too bossy, controlling or otherwise unpleasant.  To me, this meant that both teams made good choices in leadership.  Though they were frustrated, each participant set out about doing the necessary preparatory work required for a day of food service.  They made, weighed, portioned and stored dough; they grated cheese and sliced toppings, etc. 
     The gender dynamics played out like textbook scenarios. Men formed a cohesive team, remaining task and goal oriented while setting personality differences aside - for the most part.  The standout in this was David Cassidy who was appreciably less industrious than the other men and far more needy as a worker.  Richard Hatch took his project manager role very seriously and put his megalomaniacal control freak tendencies to work with unwaivering determination to win. Unfortunately he expresses himself in an overly aggressive, demeaning and downright bullying fashion. He also has little self awareness and absolutely no humility. This makes him unlikeable. Is it necessary to like one's boss to get a job done?
     The women failed to form a team and there were catty remarks being tossed around under their breath and lots of negative judging of their chosen leader. Although they could not set aside their personality conflicts they did hunker down and get their preparations done. Lisa Rinna was the most whiny, catty and backstabbing. She would say one thing to her fellow workers and another to her "boss" which makes her unlikeable. Niki Taylor, a supermodel was the most surprising to me. She stood out as a team player, confident in her strengths and ready to put them on the line and work hard, she was the pizza-maker.
    Hatch chose Hip-Hop artist Lil John, Country & Western star John Rich and actor Gary Busey as his marketing team. They created a fun and effective campaign from menus to street hawking. Putting Gary Busey out on a street corner in an ill-fitting suit with menus and pepperoni confetti as the  evangelizing "Pizza Profit" was genius. All team members were encouraged to use their network connections, to call friends, family or whomever to get donations.  Some slices of pizza were sold for thousands of dollars in the name of charity.  The worker bees had fun running the pizzeria for a day and took joy in brining in money, Hatch was a mostly hands-off manager who demanded productivity while celebrating successes.
     Jones took the marketing task on personally while sending the other women back to the prep kitchen. Although she was sure in her confidence, her results at print posters and menu were lackluster at best. Her biggest mistake was taking two people out of the store for delivery. She sent Lisa Rinna and Marlee Matlin.  That was too much personnel out of operations which caused some major fallout when Star decided to close the retail side of the business to focus on what was to be a large delivery order. 
     Ultimately the win went to the women's A.S.A.P.P. team because they raised almost 2 1/2 times what the men brought in.  They did this in spite of their operational shortcomings and even though they missed a final delivery to a fire station that would have added an extra $35K to their total.  How?  They leveraged their natural gender traits. Women are relationship oriented and they called everyone they knew to come and support them. Their friends came through spectacularly.  One man came in and ordered 20 pizzas for each of his two offices @ $1,000 per pizza for a total of 40 pizzas for $40,000. When Star realized that time was running short and her operation could not support the order in time, she called her friend and asked him if she could do just 20 pizzas total and was told just one would do. A monkey could have come through with one pizza. She and her team were let off the hook way too easily and she should be extremely grateful for that kind of generosity. 
     With the women snagging the win, someone from the losing men's had to be fired.  The boardroom antics leading up to the firing were quite dramatic and very entertaining.  David Cassidy continued to whine about not being heard, complained about Richard Hatch manhandling him and offered multiple excuses for his dispassionate attitude and less than optimal performance.  Richard was classless both during the task in his treatment of Cassidy and the boardroom by referring to him decidedly feminine terms, i.e. little, delicate, needy, etc. However he was not responsible for David's poor performance. The men seemed united in the desire to see their leader be let go but it was "Keith Partridge" who got fired by "The Donald." Baseball player Jose Canseco was particularly chivalrous in his indictment of Hatch and defense of Cassidy. I look forward to learning more about this intriguing athlete as the show progresses.
     All things being equal, if both teams had to run their businesses for a month or more, it seems clear that the men would come out on top with their more cohesive team, better operations and relying more on the generosity of the general public rather than calling in favors from friends. The women's personality issues, cattiness, failure to form a team and sloppy operations set-up would have ultimately caused their demise. They were lucky this time.
     Finally, on a personal note, I believe that the reason I was so immediately hooked by this program has a lot to do with my current path of self-reconstruction. It is clear that I will learn a lot about how different qualities come into play in the success or failure of a business venture. As a new student in Trump University, I look forward to my education.

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