Current mood: enlightened
Category: Romance and Relationships
Category: Romance and Relationships
Last night I read "He's Just NOT That Into You" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. First of all it's really unlike me to read an entire book in one night. This is partially because I read so slowly and partially because reading is so relaxing I usually fall asleep post haste. All that being said, I devoured this book because it tells you the truth in the most uplifting and funny way that I just did not want it to end. I read it in 3 1/2 hours! Wow!
The book is written by comedian and Greg Behrendt who was a consultant to the writers of "Sex and the City" for a few seasons. The co-author, Liz Tuccillo is actually a writer on the show. So these people are certified funny people. Greg's credentials also include his years of dating prior to finding "the one" and settling down to get married and procreate. And Liz is dating in the city and brings a woman's perspective to the uncomfortable truths laid out by Greg.
The gist of the book is to let women know a few things about men that I must say, as a woman... are hard to swallow. Women like to complicate men and read a lot into them, but Greg states and reiterates often that men are NOT complicated and if we just take them at face value rather than reading into their behavior and making excuses for them, we as dating women will be much better off. We will not waste time on the wrong man or dead end relationships of "convenience." And Greg, communicates all of this wrapped in a belief that all women are HOT in their own ways and there are men out there who will appreciate our unique hotness and most of all, and most importantly that WE ARE WORTH HAVING IT ALL! This is good advice.
As I read, and learned I found myself doing an inventory of past relationships and finding the huge red flags that told me "he's just NOT that into me." At times this was painful, but since I am not with anyone right now, I already know that my past relationships are over.
The one glaring thing that came to me as I read that in my last long term relationship, he WAS into me! I had it there. What's worse? I didn't know it.... couldn't see it. And I have to live with the fact that I screwed it up. I'm not going to in to what I did or how I messed up the best relationship of my life, with the love of my life, but I did. I have to live with my mistakes. My mistakes in that relationship are the only regrets in my life. I hate that I woke up had my epiphany & figured out what I was doing so wrong after it was too late and he was no longer willing to give me another chance. He moved on immediately after the break-up and is now engaged to be married to another woman. I don't like that another woman is living the life I should have had ... but, I have accepted it. I also learned that you know you truly love someone deeply when their personal happiness becomes more important to you than your own desire to be with them. And so..... I move on too.
I am glad that I am not one of those who believe that there is only one person on the planet that is a good match. There are multiple people out there that would be a good fit. I need to go out and find one of them. This time though, I will be armed with knowledge to know when "he's just not that into me" so I don't waste my time on dead ends.
To all the women out there who are still looking for Mr Right, or are dating someone and feels she's getting missed signals. READ THIS BOOK! There are no mixed signals. Men tell you very clearly with their behavior whether or not they are really into you. When you're done reading this book, you'll know what those behaviors are and you will also know what it DOES look like when he's really into you!
Read ladies! You are worth having it all! I am too!