The trials and tribulations of Match.com
Current mood:
amused
Category: Romance and Relationships
I have been a subscriber on Match.com for almost a year. My profile has always been intelligent and playful. I have the same main picture there as I do here. For the first six months, I reset the counter for profile views. For the last 5.5 months, during which, as of this writing I was viewed 1,031 times, I did not. My subscription runs out during the first week of September and I am not planning to renew. Why? Because I am fed up.
So, last week I changed a few things on my profile in anticipation of my departure. My headline used to read, "Snopes! No urban legend here. Fabulous woman looking for wonderful man." Now it reads, " Fabulous woman looking for wonderful man has given up. My profile has been viewed over 1000 times in 6 months. I'm done."
I also added one paragraph to my "Intro." It's the second one. My introductory essay reads:
Curvy? A few extra pounds? Big & Beautiful? What do these describe? I can't figure it out. I'll never be a skinny mini, but I'll workout with you & improve. OK? Exercising together is more fun! I am much more interested in depth of character than "looks" anyway! You?
Here's what I've learned from almost one year on Match.com: that 1) men don't know a good thing when it hits them in the face. 2) They cut you off before you have a chance, 3) don't respond politely when you wink at them, 4) communicate in ways in writing that they would NEVER do face-to-face before knowing someone and 5) are ridiculously unaware of the fact that women of substance are far more passionate than those little things who think they just have lay there! And so I am done. I give up. You win. I will be alone and happy rather than searching and miserable from multiple rejection. It is most definitely your loss!!
I know that I'm fun, smart, playful, sensual & passionate. I know I want someone who is all of those things too. I like to be silly and serious... sometimes simultaneously!
I'm honest & strive to behave with integrity. Ask me anything! I want people to be as open with me as I am. I'll ask you open ended questions & want more than 1-word answers. Give me all the details because they are part of your story. We are the sum of our experiences which are made of moments of details. If we know how we got to be who we are, we can decide who we will become & where we're going.
I love my time with friends & my alone time. I hope you do too. It's important that you have interests of your own. Of course I may want to learn about them, so I can learn about you. OK? I hope you get into some of mine too! But I won't hone in, unless invited!
I would like it if you were comfortable enough with yourself to enjoy personal alone time. I am a deep thinker, very introspective & analytical. So, we can have some regular time alone, then when we spend time together we will have experiences and thoughts to share.
Mostly, I want man with whom to share mutual respect... one who I accept for who he is... I want who will accept me for who I am and also accept all of the love, passion and life I have to share!
Looking at things from the positive is so important to me. How do you see things? Still reading? Drop me an e-mail.
I think that is a pretty good intro, sans that second paragraph. And it got me nowhere. Well, oddly enough since I have made these alterations, I have gotten more responses than I had in months. This one today took the cake. It really irked me so I thought I would share the message and my response here in my blog. Here goes: The subject of the message from this dude was "5 things"
you didn't ask for a comment but i did
5 things:
1.you are probably right, but could be said the same as woman and while you are right, we really don't want to hear it
2. the plain and simple truth is that men and women are visual creatures, so either you are attracted to someone or not, you have to get someone interested enough to get past the pic to read the profile and then have something in the profile to make them interested, you have too many pics, the one of you standing is nice as is the head shot with the hair in your face
3. winks are the lazy man's or woman's attempt to gain interest, if one is indeed interested, write an e-mail, invest the time
4. you are correct, a lot of asshole men out there, don't think woman respond as crudely as a asshole man would
5. sounds like you are a little bitter
don't give up
riccardo
Here was my response:
You are right. I didn't ask for a comment and don't appreciate yours.
1.you are probably right, but could be said the same as woman and while you are right, we really don't want to hear it
What you care to hear is none of my concern. I said what I needed to say. Deal with it or shut up.
2. the plain and simple truth is that men and women are visual creatures, so either you are attracted to someone or not, you have to get someone interested enough to get past the pic to read the profile and then have something in the profile to make them interested, you have too many pics, the one of you standing is nice as is the head shot with the hair in your face
Visual is fine, but solely visual is shallow and childish. You have as many pics of yourself as I do. Just because I added some of my photography to show my creativity doesn't mean I have too many. Who are you to judge me anyway?
3. winks are the lazy man's or woman's attempt to gain interest, if one is indeed interested, write an e-mail, invest the time
Could you possibly be any more judgmental? Your profile is loaded with "mightier than thou" comments. You are more arrogant than the people you purport to despise, just about different things. Your tone is attacking and aggressive. Until I added my "giving up" paragraph this week, my profile was intelligent and playful, but that wasn't good enough, because men here on Match.com don't get passed their primeval brain and into their cerebral cortex long enough to know that chemistry is far more than looks. People become more beautiful or more ugly as you get to know them based on their personality and character.
Again I say: Who are you to judge? Get over yourself.
4. you are correct, a lot of asshole men out there, don't think woman respond as crudely as a asshole man would
This comment is unintelligible and grammatically incorrect. It is senseless, but I believe I am intelligent enough to extrapolate the meaning.
Yes. Men can be assholes... but I still adore them. Women can be assholes too and I couldn't live without some of my friends.
For some reason you thought your comments would teach me something. They did. You are obviously one of the assholes.
5. sounds like you are a little bitter
Bitter? Absolutely not! Resigned would be a better descriptor. A bitter person would not choose happiness in their solitude.
I believe you are the bitter one. Your profile indicates quite a large chip on your shoulder about the world. Perhaps you should think about how what you say is a projection onto others about how you feel about yourself. Read some Freud if you don't understand that last sentence. Oh wait! You don't like to read. You'd rather watch the movie! And yet you judge others for winking rather than emailing and call it lazy. How hypocritical. Reading isn't risky. Winking and/or emailing someone here on Match.com is risking yourself.
Sorry if I used big words. There are on-line dictionaries to help you. Oh... and there's "Shift" key on your computer to capitalize letters appropriately as well as punctuation marks with which to end sentences, among other uses.
Next time, keep your opinion to yourself. You are no expert on anything and had no business saying what you did. I will give up on Match.com if I wish. Don't tell me or anyone else what to do. It is not your place.
Have a good day and please do not respond.
These are the kinds of things I have gotten. Who do these people think they are? It amazes, irks and on some sick level amuses me, so I thought I'd put it here.
pensive 
